This is the winter holiday season. Before Covid-19 we would be sharing time together in celebrations at one anothers’ homes, in our offices and work spaces, and various other get togethers. Unfortunately, the majority of us have realized that this year we are better off taking a pass, waiting for this current wave of the pandemic to pass us by before we engage in large gatherings.
UNfortunately, what hasn’t changed is our consumption. In fact, economic data would seem to indicate that most of us are imbibing and eating more over the year to date than we may want to admit. Which means we can probably predict that New Years Resolutoins will once again be focused on goals about losing weight and getting in better shape.
Another likely place many people find themselves in is frustration with poor performance. This may be especially true for students. The scramble for improving grades is about to come to a close for Winter Break, and all the pleading and tears really break down into one factor….not taking care of business on a regular basis. Instead, many have only focused on the end result while grades continued to lag all semester long. Unfortunately, you can’t barter what you didn’t invest in from the start.
Whether you are struggling with your level of fitness, your grades, or some other area of life in which you wish you were doing better, this time of year is when we start contemplating ideals we believe would make us a better person. But rather than set a new B-HAG (big hairy audacious goal), I suggest you consider smaller intentions that are about changing your routines. Instead of creating a goal that is remotely distant from who you are now, and creating anxiety about that gap from here to there, choose to change how you live on a daily basis. Buy-in to “being” what you want to be, rather than focusing on the outcome.
Step one, do not set a New Year’s Resolution. Just don’t. Alternately, take some time to reflect on “who” you would be if you already reached that goal. Recongize what types of behaviors and routines you would have in place if you were already that successful. When you know what these are, WRITE THEM DOWN. These are the things you should focus on, and can now become your focus.
This brings on step two, build a few simple new routines you can act on now. Want to be a better student next semester? Block time on your calendar for getting studies done, put known assignments into your calendar, set aside time to read every day….you get the idea. Instead of focusing on the grades, put effort into the “how”. Before long, you will have improved grades BECAUSE you are a better student.
Step three, create short steps of progress. Yes, these are goals too, but they are within range and help you build momentum in getting where you want to be long term. The trick is to target something that is within your abilities, but will require more effort than you gave before. So if you are looking to be in better shape, challenge yourself to get 5 more push-ups done today than what feels comfortable, fill your plate with enough vegetables you can’t get the same portion of meat on your plate, or drink enough water to make you use the bathroom at least once an hour during the day. You aren’t making a NIKE commercial, but you are taking care of yourself. And as these things become routine, you can add new challenges. After a while, you are no longer “hoping” to be more fit, but instead you are a fit person seeking more gains.
Realistically, my hope is to convince you that New Year’s Resolutions are actually another step in futility. They are glorious statements of hope, with a glancing eye at the reality that we are not who we want to be. The better approach is to accept where you are now, knowing that this place you find yourself in is a by-product of who you have been over a period of time. And that is why you can be different. End goals are the result of a long period of being that person. Start now, start simple, and keep track of your progress. Before too long, you will be an improved version of your current self. If you know someone who could use help in this pursuit, make the call and bring in an expert.