BEING PSYCHOLOGICALLY FLEXIBLE IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH

One of my favorite movies is Apollo 13 (circa 1995), the story of the 1970 NASA mission to the moon that suffered extreme challenges. On the trip to the moon the ship suffers an explosion and electrical fire. The crew is able to extinguish the fire, but the result was a significant reduction of oxygen and a need to close themselves into a singular compartment of the craft. What’s more, they needed to shut off other functions that reduced heat and water. In space, these steps were liken to enacting slow death. For me, the best part of the movie happened when the scientists & engineers back on gathered into an office and the leader outlined the problems facing the crew. Then he dumps out a box of miscellaneous supplies and states, “We need to fix the problem with this…” There was a slight pause, and then a flurry of action as they all dove into their work.

While we are not flying through space and facing likely death, change and uncertainty can trigger the same response in the brain. Disruption to our routines, threats to our goals, facing failure, and other sorts of stresses trigger a threat response that can lead us down paths of defeat. But utilizing flexible thinking becomes your greatest strength in these situations. The power to adjust is critical when your original “plan” gets disrupted. Being flexible allows you to accept that uncertainty is the “new normal”, and begins to promote optimism in your ability to succeed. Adapting in this way provides you with the self-knowledge that you can avoid rigidity and adapt. And this is what allowed the scientists, engineers, and flight  crew to come up with continuous solutions while eventually getting all the astronauts back to earth safely. 

Whether you are facing the loss of a sport season, are struggling with school, or your business is suffering, having the ability to be flexible provides you with the ability to overcome the difficulties you find yourself in. However, too many people choose one of two dead-end paths; finger pointing and blaming for why they are suffering, or being fixed in their previous approach with conviction that it must work the way they want it to. But those who are adapting recognize two things; you can’t predict where uncertainty will land us, and redefining your goals allows you to re-energize. What happens to the brain? Rather than fall into the neural circuit paths of despair, your brain begins to do what it does best, solve new problems. And perhaps that is the best way of coaching yourself into being more flexible, to reframe the struggles you face as new challenges rather than obstacles to old objectives.

Here are three quick practices to help you. First, believe in the mantra, “mastery over outcomes”. This doesn’t mean that reaching a goal isn’t important, but rather that what you learn in order to reach the goal is more valuable. The Apollo 13 mission’s real goal was to get everyone home safely. Although they didn’t land on the moon (a secondary goal), they did figure out quite a bit about how to respond to emergencies in space, and to prevent similar issues in the future. For you, things may not be going in the direction you intended. But what opportunities to learn and grow might be available, and what’s the likelihood that the learning will be valuable for a future you cannot yet predict?

Second, discriminate between wants and needs. Sometimes what we desire can be so powerful that we convince ourselves we need to have whatever that things is. Any obstacles then trigger that threat response. But stepping back and evaluating the value of the “want” to our needs in life allows us to adjust. As an example, you may REALLY want that new PS5, but other than entertainment, what will it really bring you? Maybe the household would be better off putting that money into something that provides for life’s needs (food, shelter, water, or experiences with those we love). Like those astronauts aboard the Apollo, making decisions to suffer discomforts in the short-term, and giving up on their dream of standing on the lunar surface, allowed them to accomplish what was really important… landing on earth safe and sound.

Last, keep goals limber and scaffolded. Achievements are not all-or-nothing endeavors. You are not successful student based on one class grade, nor a winner because of one victory. Keeping the end-goal somewhat flexible keeps us moving in a forward direction, but we need to have check-points along the way. And sometimes the path to get there needs to be altered, which means the subgoals might need to change as well. While the Apollo 13 mission was set to land on the moon and gather samples for study back on earth, the on-board fire required significant change to their list of objectives. The moon became a gravity boost for a return mission instead of a landing spot. And instead of furthering scientific understanding about the moon, the trip became a field study for survival in the most difficult environment known to humanity. The original mission was scrapped, but all of NASA was better for the experience. Perhaps what you learn about surviving the next few months becomes what you need to be successful again in the next few years.

Being flexible is a necessity. Allowing yourself to adapt to difficulties gives you the ability to react to what is happening now as you reassess what really matters. Remember, the only constant is change. What is tough now will cease at some point. But new challenges lie ahead. Those of us who practice being flexible to uncertainty will likely be the most prepared for new opportunities. If you know someone who could use help in this pursuit, make the call and bring in an expert.