I began a career in youth sport coaching over 30 years ago, and what drew me to this has remained a constant. I saw sport as a powerful way to help young people develop a strong sense of self, while learning to challenge themselves through struggles and trials of competitoin. This calling was the basis of so much of my research while working on undergrad courses, and became a key focus during my graduate work. While working as a teacher and coach in various sports I maintained this vision and interest, and often found myself needing to check back in when feeling caught up in the wins and losses that stacked up. And now as I work with young athletes as a sport psychology professional, I find myself more convinced than ever that youth coaches best serve athletes in the short and long term when they themselves are guided by ethics and principles established in the values of teaching life skills. Instead, what has evolved is a culture in youth sport where the athletes are a commodity, while adults navigate paths to finanical outcomes of salaries, scholarships, and sponsorships. Thus, this article is a call for change. A call for awareness to parents to be mindful of sport as an opportunity in your child’s life to learn valuable mental, physical, and behavioral skills regardless of the level they reach. And this is also a call of challenge for many coaches to change their approach by reframing your work as a means of having a positive impact on developing youth, instead of declaring you are preparing them for the “next level”.
The first thing to do is to ask yourself if the athletes involved are developing a growing interest in playing the sport. Are they eager to get to practice to work with their peers, or are they dreading the next few hours as a pressure packed scene where adults admonish them for not wanting it enough? Are athletes able to quickly identify what they learned or improved on by the end of practice, or are they “stuck” in frustration because they aren’t good enough at certain things? Is competition a chance to compete and try to execute what they practiced, or is the game a stressful event that has future meaning attached to it before it has even started? The answer to each of these questions is rooted in the perspective of the people in charge. Young athletes start out wanting to “play” sports. But if the adults in charge see the outcomes as determinants for the value in participating, the athletes soon lose their passion for play and begin to see sport as a “job” intended to get some payout on the back end of high school. So take a step back and listen to how young athletes are talking about their experience and how they see themselves, and use this as an opportunity to re-evaluate adult perspective.
When you are ready to question the adult view, another critical area to focus on is how coaches value the athletes. Too often I am working with clients who relay accounts that indicate an evolving culture of objectifying athletes. As a society, we have worked hard recently to develop an awareness of how damaging objectification can be for women. But my worry is that we are not paying attention to the same dynamic occuring for youth athletes. The view of coaches can be quickly revealed in the language being used to describe or “motivate” athletes. Ask yourself these simple questions to determine if the coach is interested in the person, or sees the talented athlete as a commodity. When referring to previous performance of an athlete, does the coach identify the individual by name (i..e. “Jenny made a fantastic catch in the 3rd”), or with a collective possessive (i.e. “We had a great catch in the 3rd”). When reviewing a team performance that needs work, does the coach talk about actions as mistakes (i.e. “Playing the ball back here gives the opponent an opening”), or does the coach spotlight individuals and label them based on the outcome (i.e. “Tom does something really stupid here when he plays the ball back”). When calling for a player to be subbed in, does the coach call for a specific person (i.e. “Kelly – check in to play guard”), or is the call for a player who serves the coache’s actions (i.e. “Where’s my guard at?!”). The language used not only indicates how the coach values athletes, but there is a lasting impact on how athletes view themselves. When objectified, the passion to play dies and they begin to see themselves as only having value/worth if their actions in play produce results that adults are happy with. Being objectified means your sense of self-woth is now contingent on keeping others happy.
So what makes adults happy when young athletes are playing? While I’m as competitive as the next athlete/coach (and I DO like to win), I’ve also come to value those times when a win was not possible, but being part of an experience where athletes gave their best to be competitive was extremely fulfilling. Adults who only focus on the outcomes of competition are typically attaching wins/losses to future goals and personal ambitions. Coaches and parents who declare they are putting teams together to win specific contests should be a warning sign that the athletes are assets and tools who will be used to achieve something the adults want. A coach I admired as much as any other often spoke about the athletes who were part of championships, and the trials and growth of each as a part of the process to get there. However, I have never heard Dan Gable, the winningest coach in collegiate wrestling history, talk about the number of champoinships his teams won. Nor has he ever publicly declared the 17 national champoinships won as “his”. However, if you ever get the opportunity to sit with him, he will talk your ear off about the young men who competed on his teams, and the accomplishments they have reached in life. So, do the adults involved in your child’s team value the humans they are working with, or have the athletes been objectified based on talents that help the team win?
While winning championships is something we all view with admiration, should this be the singular purpose of competing? Before you declare, “Its what its all about!”, pause and think that through. If only one team can be the champions, does that mean the losing team in a championship game exercised a complete waste of time that day, that season? If only one athlete can win a tennis tournament, were all the previous matches by other players an exercise in futility? The obvious answer is, “Of course not!” The spirit to play and compete is something to be stoked with opportunities to do so. But too many youth teams have adopted the philosophy that play time will be restricted to the most talented, because they give the team the best chance to win. Without extended opportunities to play, the motivation to be part of the team fades quickly. Participation rules in older/established youth leagues are founded in the wisdom that youth development is not a smooth process, and that athletes will develop at different rates. But to master skills, and maintain interest, everyone needs opportunities to compete. If the team your child is on is part of one of the newer elite leagues who has abandoned participation rules, you might be well served to question if your child will have a fair opportunity to grow.
As a parent, you undoubtedly want your own children to have every opportunity to succeed. But tread with caution. The emergence of elite leagues (travel ball, academies, etc.) have strong alure, and often times promote themselves with intentions of getting kids to the next level. They further their arguement by touting their scheduling, claiming responsibility for scholarship bound older youth, and other declarations of why their club is “good” for your kid. But I work with collegiate athletes and young professionals as well. And I can tell you that two critical factors need to align for success at these aspired levels. First, physical talent is a must. This is a by-product of genetic fortune and learned skills in environments that fostered growth. Second is a passion to compete, and this occurs when youth have autonomy from adult ambitions. Having opportunities to play based on their own interests, and being in enviroments that encourage growth feed their passions. While I’m not condemming all elite programs, I do encourage the adults involved to question to how every athlete is given an opportunity to participate and grow.
As I stated at the start, this is a call for change. I encourage parents to rethink the real value of sport participation and what the long-term realities will be. I also encoruage coaches to rethink their goals for coaching. While we all enjoy winning, getting a chance to work with young athletes can be more rewarding when we focus on helping them develop and grow in ways that transcend sport. Should you find yourself needing more help in this area, why wait? Make the call, bring in an expert.